Thursday, November 17, 2016

Writing goals

This week students worked had to set new goals in their writing. They used a writing rubric shared with us by Robyn Anderson from Panmure Bridge School. This was very powerful and resulted in students setting meaningful goals and their own success criteria. This is Saphron's work. Title: I am a Taniwha. I was wrapped up in a ball falling through the air it felt wonderful and free. I took a deep breath of the aroma that surrounded me, It smelt like fresh trees, saltwater and hints of the Jasmine flower bushes, to me the smell was intoxicating and relaxing. I opened my eye’s and saw the sight that completed it, the ball of fire in the sky reflected on the water that went on and on for as far as the eye could see, the sand was a beautiful smooth creamy brown, all the trees that I saw where different shades of green, slowly dancing side to side with the breeze guiding it as it’s teacher. I then felt something more strong slowly wrap around me, I realized what it was. I’ve finally reached the water and have just broke through the surface of the blue clear water. I looked around me slowly ‘Beautiful,’ was all I could think about, as the sight around me left me gobsmacked. Fish swam around me, scales reflecting the sun, with the sea creatures dancing around me calmly, I felt like I was being showered by glitter. My face probably showed pure wonder at what could be found even more further into the depths of the water. I went back up to the surface and signed in happiness. I looked up only to see my cousin Lilly gazing straight back at me, laying still in the heating sand under the shade of the sunbrella, “Lilly!” I called out just catching my breath, “Is everything all right Saph?” “Yup, everything’s all goods Lilly!” “But you have to jump in!” “You have got to look at this,” “K!” She got up from the creamy brown sand and dived in the water, until she popped up right next to me. “Come under with me Lilly it’s gorgeous,” I dove back under the clear water with Lilly our hands were entwined, so we knew where the other was, we had air tanks so we took advantage of them and dove deeper into the water further away from the surface and reality. I looked up towards the surface and saw the sun reflecting off the water it was hypnotizing to me the way the orange and yellow mixed with the blue of the water. We could see the seabed, the pattern was wavy as if Tangaroa drew it himself. The sandbed had no signs of human hands. But we knew better than that. Lilly and I stopped in front of an enormous rock, surrounded by school’s of fish all unique and different in their extraordinary way. In the corner of my eye I saw something sway in the rocks. I let go of Lilly’s hand hesitantly and unsure, I saw Lilly slowly turn my way but I never saw her eye’s. I saw it again. I grew colder and colder in fright and anticipation, on what might be lurking around so I swam closer. I saw something at the corner of my eye’s again, but the outline to the creature was more defined and clear to me, the creature

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