Noah's broken arm story

Boing I was on the tramp at my friends house it had no sides a soft blue rim, we were jumping on his tramp.

I got double bounced off the tramp and 08/03/2016  I was flying through the sky thinking ‘this was gonna hurt’. I landed on my arm as soon as my body hit the ground I screamed in pain “AHHH HELP ME” it hurt so bad, it felt like my arm was chopped off with 1,000 sharp blades. My friends mum ran out into the back yard she saw me lying on the ground crying, she called my mum to come over she put me on the couch I had a pillow under it but it still hurt, my mum was taking me to the hospital to get an x-ray “AHHH” I shouted “we're almost there” my mum said said.

We got to the hospital they had to x-ray my arm some of the position’s it was in hurt, then when they finished they took me into a room it had a bed a desk with dentist stuff on it I was really worried and scared.

The nurse said to “take a seat”

I sat on  the bed with my arm out “this won’t hurt a bit” she said they put this orange liquid on my arm, then wrapped a bandage around my arm after that  they finally put the cast on it hurt so bad like some claws digging into my arm.

We were learning to do more description in our writing so I decided to write about the time I broke my arm, What I think I did well was with my use of description in the story and what I think I could do better next time is punctuation.